DADDY DEAREST

OPEN LETTER TO MY FATHER

DADDY DEAREST.....

Today they say let's not forget about the fathers....

Well father dear

What about the children you forgot

Myself, Junior, Kim, Tony and now Erica

Born to different mothers but joined by the same seed....

What about all the forgotten birthdays, dance recitals, football games, plays, musicals, broken arms, chicken pox, graduations, hopes, dreams...what about it?

What about when I had to search for you at the age of sixteen because all of the years previous you didn't bother to look for me? Only to find you and realize you were everything I had hoped for or so I thought. You became my hero....my prince...my knight in shining armor. For two years you lived up to my fantasy as long as I played the "game" by your rules. You made up for all lost time. But as soon as I decided to venture out on my own.....as soon as you felt I was "leaving and abandoning you"- how ironic.....you went back to who you really were all along.....you went back to hiding behind your wall of defense- that way no one will ever be able to touch you.

You think you've got it all figured out don't you? If you stay behind that wall....no one can touch you....but now you've locked us all out....what a shame........you're missing out on life....our lives....your granddaughter's life...Jasmine's a beautiful girl....one you'd be proud of....it's heart breaking to know that you won't allow yourself to be a part of her life before she has to leave for Iraq.....it could be the last time you see her.....but you make the choice...

Stay behind the wall.....I've done all the reaching I can...a lifetime's worth....I refuse to allow you to continue to break my heart....so now I've made a choice...and that choice is me....I'm building a wall....and I wonder if you should come out of hiding one day....and find my wall....if you knock will it be loud enough for me to hear....

Though absent in the physical...you are ever present in my mental...daddy dearest...I will forever love you.