Monday, December 29, 2008

NEW JACK CITY- Random *ish*

So I was standing at the bus stop early yesterday morning heading to Big Lots in the midst of my
"post-Xmas sale" craze state of mind!
While standing...waiting...being impatient.... I see this woman walking down the street headed in my direction.
From a distance I can see this woman is a crackhead.... now I know it's not nice to assume things about people based on appearance alone- but let's just say when I looked up in the distance...this is the sight I saw heading my way.....

OKAY! NUFF SAID!

So, as she's approaching me, there's this little voice in my head that says......"she's going to say something to you."

Now this is a safe assumption because when I'm out and about on my daily travels (a.k.a. riding public transportation)- it's come to my attention that there is an invisible sign tatooed on my forehead visible to only crazy folks, crackheads and homeless people.

And that sign says "TALK TO ME.....PLEASE. I'D ENJOY RANDOM BABBLINGS FROM YOU"

It's like that silent "pitch/whistle" that only dogs can hear. Yeah, you get the picture.

So sure enough as if reading my mind- about five feet from me- she yells out in the strangest of voices (ala Cyndi Lauper)- "EXCUSE ME.....MISS LADY! MISS LADY!"
"DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?"
In my meanest of mugs (ala Nino Brown from New Jack City)- I just look at her with disgust and say "yeah" cause I'm thinking she's about to just say some stupid sh**!
Then she stops directly in front of me and says
"OH GOOD. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE PRETTY."
......dramatic pause for effect "AND I'M NOT GAY!"
I burst out in laughter- she looked back at me and said
"THIS IS HOLLYWOOD YOU KNOW. YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT."
Then she proceeds to go on about her business.
Ten seconds later, she stops in her tracks....looks back at me...and says
"I REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO BE PRETTY."
Damn! In that moment, queue in the scene from New Jack City where Nino Brown & crew take Thanksgiving turkeys to the Carter projects.......and Pookie takes back a huge drumstick.
He and his crackhead girlfriend fight over the drumstick- and he starts to beat on her.........
Yelling he says
"YOU USED TO BE THE PROM QUEEN...NOW YOU'RE THE PROM FIEND!"
*well I couldn't find that video clip (and you know your girl tried)- but if you've seen the movie...then enjoy this clip! and if you haven't -it's a MUST in your Netflix queue.
THAT WAS MY RANDOM *ISH* FOR THE WEEK!
oh and sidebar for the record.....PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION SUCKS!
(not much longer i pray to the car gods)

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