IRONY

=me....LOCATION = bus stop.

ACTION = thinking about what to have for dinner.

enter HIM.....homeless.....LOCATION = same bus stop.

ACTION = digging through the trashcan to locate something for dinner......

this homeless man i've seen many times on many occassions at this very bus stop.......

mostly sitting on the bench minding his own business....whatever that is......

staring off into his space.....never obtrusive.....mainly smelly.....and hungry.....

oftimes.....he's bent over the same trash can......FURIOUSLY digging for his food for the day.

TODAY- no different from any other when i've seen him here.....

but TODAY.....i pay attention......as does the man next to me.......

we stare as he digs furiously through the trash can to find

SOMETHING.....ANYTHING.....to eat...

which is ironic to me considering i was just mulling over the different possibilities

that lay in my refrigerator........

the look of DISGUST on people's faces....the people STANDING and SITTING around

at the same bus stop as I......and the HOMELESS guy.

THEY look at him w/DISGUST.....and i wonder WHY?

and i look at the man sitting next to me on the bench who is also transfixed on MR. HOMELESS

WONDERING if he shares the same thoughts.....

WHY do we turn away in disgust at homeless people?

BECAUSE they're HUNGRY......they're AGGRESSIVE....they're SMELLY.......

THEY'RE a REMINDER (in the this day and time of our economy) of what we could BECOME.

*maybe NOT to the extreme of digging through the trash can for our dinner*

BUT......in these times.......coupled with our "money mis-management"......

how many of US are so close to that? a PAYCHECK away? a LAYOFF away?

this economy has made us rethink and reprioritize!!!!

more IRONY as a mother of two walks up to the same bus stop

with her two small boys in tow......she looks down the street for the bus.......NOT COMING.

out of her purse..she pulls a bag of LAY'S POTATO CHIPS....PLAIN..... *i can tell

she hands the bag of chips to her two boys who FURIOUSLY dig to get their chips w/each bite.

the smiles on their faces as they taste the saltiness & crunch from the chip-

THIER DINNERTIME TREAT

the smile on HIS face (homeless man) as he strikes PAYDIRT

w/a half eaten bag of CHEESE PUFFS.....

the smile on HIS face as he tastes the cheddar & cruchiness from the puff-

HIS DINNERTIME/DESSERT TREAT

and the irony of the ping pong match of emotions as i swing my head back N' forth

between commuters smiling in glee at the two boys eating chips AND

the disgust in thier eyes at the HOMELESS MAN eating his cheese puffs.

IRONY......IN THE STATE OF THIS WORLD.

POST A PIC

the idea for this blog was borrowed from (busygirl/tumbler) and goes like this.....

go to your computer....your "PICTURES" folder......select the "FOURTH" folder.

pick the "FOURTH" picture- post the pic along w/an explanation...

so i went to my fourth folder (BLOG PICS)- selected the FOURTH pic and here it is......

ARTIST: YAW

*below is an excerpt from a review i did on YAW for the site i write for

www.muzicview.com

At first listen to a track by new artist YAW……. you are literally transcended back in time. Never to be one to get caught up into labels and categories (when it comes to music or life in general), it’s hard to not try to compare the voice that you hear booming out of your computer speakers when you listen. But as hard as you try, you can’t really pin him down to a specific category or genre of music……for me personally YAW is a cross between Anthony Hamilton, Lenny Kravitz, Al Green & Bilal….how’s that for a comparison? Of African descent, YAW’s music embraces both cultures (African & American) and is best self described as “an organic occurrence”. A couple of months ago, a mutual acquaintance introduced me to YAW’s music. Upon first listen to a couple of tracks, I felt like I was sitting in a movie theatre watching the intro to a Spike Lee movie….where the lead actor is sitting on that mechanism that glides them in front of the screen….and Terence Blanchard is playing the instrumentals in the background. The track “GOD” (one of my personal favorites) is a vocal tribute to his ancestors and “WHERE WILL I BE” is reminiscent of the opening of a Spike Lee flick. Having opened for such acts as ERIC ROBERSON & LIZ FIELDS…… YAW has also listed JAGUAR WRIGHT, FLOETRY, and KINDRED & AMEL LARRIEUX as some of his favorite performers. Some of his influences range from the hip hop influenced MOB DEEP, DEAD PREZ, MOS DEF, and PHAROAH MONCE to the throwback vocals of BILL WITHERS, MARVIN GAYE and STEVIE WONDER…which would explain the essence of his music…..”soulful…..telling of someone who has lived many lives belying his true age. Currently unsigned, you can download all of YAW’s tracks at www.Rhapsody.com or you can check him out at www.myspace.com/yawsmusic and find out where he’s performing next.

NEW JACK CITY- Random *ish*

So I was standing at the bus stop early yesterday morning heading to Big Lots in the midst of my

"post-Xmas sale" craze state of mind!

While standing...waiting...being impatient.... I see this woman walking down the street headed in my direction.

From a distance I can see this woman is a crackhead.... now I know it's not nice to assume things about people based on appearance alone- but let's just say when I looked up in the distance...this is the sight I saw heading my way.....

OKAY! NUFF SAID!

So, as she's approaching me, there's this little voice in my head that says......"she's going to say something to you."

Now this is a safe assumption because when I'm out and about on my daily travels (a.k.a. riding public transportation)- it's come to my attention that there is an invisible sign tatooed on my forehead visible to only crazy folks, crackheads and homeless people.

And that sign says "TALK TO ME.....PLEASE. I'D ENJOY RANDOM BABBLINGS FROM YOU"

It's like that silent "pitch/whistle" that only dogs can hear. Yeah, you get the picture.

So sure enough as if reading my mind- about five feet from me- she yells out in the strangest of voices (ala Cyndi Lauper)- "EXCUSE ME.....MISS LADY! MISS LADY!"

"DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?"

In my meanest of mugs (ala Nino Brown from New Jack City)- I just look at her with disgust and say "yeah" cause I'm thinking she's about to just say some stupid sh**!

Then she stops directly in front of me and says

"OH GOOD. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE PRETTY."

......dramatic pause for effect "AND I'M NOT GAY!"

I burst out in laughter- she looked back at me and said

"THIS IS HOLLYWOOD YOU KNOW. YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT."

Then she proceeds to go on about her business.

Ten seconds later, she stops in her tracks....looks back at me...and says

"I REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO BE PRETTY."

Damn! In that moment, queue in the scene from New Jack City where Nino Brown & crew take Thanksgiving turkeys to the Carter projects.......and Pookie takes back a huge drumstick.

He and his crackhead girlfriend fight over the drumstick- and he starts to beat on her.........

Yelling he says

"YOU USED TO BE THE PROM QUEEN...NOW YOU'RE THE PROM FIEND!"

*well I couldn't find that video clip (and you know your girl tried)- but if you've seen the movie...then enjoy this clip! and if you haven't -it's a MUST in your Netflix queue.

THAT WAS MY RANDOM *ISH* FOR THE WEEK!

oh and sidebar for the record.....PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION SUCKS!

(not much longer i pray to the car gods)

R.I.P. EARTHA KITT

Kitt was born Eartha Mae Keith on a cotton plantation in North, South Carolina, a small town in Orangeburg County near Columbia, South Carolina. Her mother was of Cherokee and African-American descent and her father of German and Dutch descent. She claimed she was conceived by rape Kitt was raised by her mother's sister, Anna Mae Riley, an African-American woman whom she believed to be her mother. Kitt claimed that she suffered abuse and neglect at the hands of a family to whom Anna Mae Riley entrusted her — "given away for slavery," as she described it in many interviews. Kitt said that as she was given away, she always wondered who would accept her and was afraid of being rejected. After Riley's death, she was sent to live in New York City with Mamie Kitt, who she learned was her biological mother; .she had no knowledge of her father, except that his surname was Kitt and that he was supposedly a son of the owner of the farm where she had been born.Newspaper obituaries state that her white father was "a poor cotton farmer." Kitt began her career as a member of the Katherine Dunham Company and made her film debut with them in Casbah (1948). A talented singer with a distinctive voice, her hits include "Let's Do It," "Champagne Taste," "C'est si bon," "Just an Old Fashioned Girl," "Monotonous," "Je cherche un homme," "Love for Sale," "I'd Rather Be Burned as a Witch," "Uska Dara," "Mink, Schmink," "Under the Bridges of Paris," and her most recognizable hit, "Santa Baby," which was released in 1953. Kitt's unique style was enhanced as she became fluent in the French language during her years performing in Europe. She had some skill in other languages too, which she demonstrates with finesse in many of the live recordings of her cabaret performances. In 1950, Orson Welles gave her her first starring role, as Helen of Troy in his staging of Dr. Faustus. A few years later, she was cast in the revue New Faces of 1952 introducing "Monotonous" and "Bal, Petit Bal," two songs with which she continues to be identified. In 1954, 20th Century Fox filmed a version of the revue simply titled New Faces. Welles and Kitt allegedly had a torrid affair during her run in Shinbone Alley, which earned her the nickname by Welles as "the most exciting woman in the world." In 1958, Kitt made her feature film debut opposite Sidney Poitier in The Mark of the Hawk. Throughout the rest of the 1950s and early 1960s, Kitt would work on and off in film, television and on nightclub stages. In 1964, Kitt helped open the Circle Star Theater in San Carlos, California. Also in the 1960s, the television series Batman featured her as Catwoman after Julie Newmar left the role. In 1968, however, Kitt encountered a substantial professional setback after she made anti-war statements during a White House luncheon. It was reported that she made First Lady Lady Bird Johnson cry. The public reaction to Kitt's statements was much more extreme, both for and against her statements. Publicly ostracized in the U.S., she devoted her energies to overseas performances. During that time, cultural references to her grew, including outside the United States, such as the well-known Monty Python sketch "The Cycling Tour," where an amnesiac believes he is first Clodagh Rodgers, then Trotsky and finally Eartha Kitt (while performing to an enthusiastic crowd in Moscow). She returned to New York in a triumphant turn in the Broadway spectacle Timbuktu! (a version of the perennial Kismet set in Africa) in 1978. In the musical, one song gives a 'recipe' for mahoun, a preparation of cannabis, in which her sultry purring rendition of the refrain "constantly stirring with a long wooden spoon" was distinctive. In 1984, she returned to the music charts with a disco song, "Where Is My Man", the first certified Gold record of her career. "Where Is My Man" reached the Top 40 on the UK Singles Chart, where it peaked at #36; The song also made the Top 10 on the US Billboard dance chart, where it reached #7. The single was followed by the album "I Love Men" on the Record Shack label. Kitt found new audiences in nightclubs across the UK and the US, including a whole new generation of gay male fans, and she responded by frequently giving benefit performances in support of HIV/AIDS organizations. Her 1989 follow-up hit "Cha-Cha Heels" (featuring Bronski Beat), which was originally intended to be recorded by Divine, received a positive response from UK dance clubs and reached #32 in the charts in that country. Eartha Kitt in concert, 2007 In 1992, Kitt had a supporting role as Lady Eloise in the hit film Boomerang starring Eddie Murphy. In the late 1990s, she appeared as the Wicked Witch of the West in the North American national touring company of The Wizard of Oz. In 2000, Kitt again returned to Broadway in the short-lived run of Michael John LaChiusa's The Wild Party opposite Mandy Patinkin and Toni Collette. Beginning in late 2000, she starred as the Fairy Godmother in the US national tour of Cinderella alongside Deborah Gibson and then Jamie-Lynn Sigler. In 2003, she replaced Chita Rivera in Nine. She reprised her role as the Fairy Godmother at a special engagement of Cinderella, which took place at Lincoln Center during the holiday season of 2004. One of her more unusual roles was as Kaa the python in a 1994 BBC Radio adaptation of The Jungle Book. Kitt lent her distinctive voice to the role of Yzma in Disney's The Emperor's New Groove and returned to the role in the straight-to-video sequel Kronk's New Groove and the spin-off TV series The Emperor's New School, for which she won an Emmy Award and two Annie Awards for Voice Acting in an Animated Television Production. She had a voiceover as the voice of Queen Vexus on the animated TV series My Life as a Teenage Robot. In recent years, Kitt's annual appearances in New York made her a fixture on the Manhattan cabaret scene. She would take the stage at venues such as the Ballroom and the Café Carlyle to explore and define her highly stylized image, alternating between signature songs such as Old Fashioned Millionaire, which emphasized a witty, mercenary world-weariness, and less familiar repertoire, much of which she performed with an unexpected ferocity and bite that presented her as a survivor with a seemingly bottomless reservoir of resilience: her version of "Here's to Life," frequently used as a closing number, was a sterling example of the latter. This facet of her later performances was reflected in at least one of her recordings, Thinking Jazz, which preserved a series of performances with a small jazz combo that took place in the early 1990s in Germany and which included both standards ("Smoke Gets in Your Eyes") and numbers ("Something May Go Wrong") that seemed more specifically tailored to her talents; one version of the CD includes as bonus performances a fierce, angry Yesterday and a live rendering of "C'est Si Bon" that good-naturedly satirized her sex-kitten persona. From October to early December, 2006, Kitt co-starred in the Off-Broadway musical Mimi le Duck. She also appeared in the 2007 independent film And Then Came Love opposite Vanessa L. Williams. In 1978, she did the voice-over in a TV commercial for the album Aja by the rock group Steely Dan. After romances with the cosmetics magnate Charles Revson and banking heir John Barry Ryan III, she was married to John William McDonald, an associate of a real-estate investment company, from June 6, 1960, to 1965. They had one child, a daughter, Kitt (b. 1962, married Charles Lawrence Shapiro). Eartha had two grandchildren, Jason and Rachel Shapiro. Kitt lived in the Merryall section of New Milford, Connecticut for many years as well as Pound Ridge, New York, then in 2002 moved to Weston, Connecticut to be near her daughter's family. Kitt wrote three autobiographies – Thursday's Child (1956), Alone with Me (1976), and I'm Still Here: Confessions of a Sex Kitten (1989). Kitt was the spokesperson for MAC Cosmetics' Smoke Signals collection in August 2007. She re-recorded "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" for the occasion, was showcased on the MAC website, and the song was played at all MAC locations carrying the collection for the month. Kitt died after a long battle against colon cancer on Christmas Day, 2008 in Weston, Connecticut at the age of 81.

I am STRONG because I’ve been weak

I am BEAUTIFUL because I know my flaws

I am a LOVER because I’m a fighter

I am FEARLESS because I’ve been afraid

I am WISE because I’ve been foolish

And I can LAUGH because I’ve known sadness…….

Author unknown

A LETTER TO SELF

A Letter to Self: from Jessica Care Moore i received this in an email today and wanted to share. (*THANKS SHE'S SO FLY) hopefully it can inspire someone like it inspired me. cause it is the TRUTH. if i ever read the truth. THIS LETTER IS NOT FOR EVERY WOMAN. BUT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU! DEAR JESS After a decade of marriage and a year long relationship with a beautiful friend, I have to write myself this letter as a promise. I hope it's a promise that other women like me will make to themselves. When you have been forced… To spend your life fighting against the often aggressive sexual exploitation of women through institutions, laws, the workforce, your own family, school and just basic can't walk down the street without being harassed your whole life…. When you are a woman of color, and you have survived being stereotyped as every "round the way girl" at a bus stop, every video stripper in every rappers video. If you have decided, despite your family not coming from a line of doctors, lawyers or educators, to take your own life, your story, your fucking destiny into your own hands. I am asking. No, I am daring you to be courageous enough. To be fearless and confident enough…. When you have found a way to build an independent economic empire of your own.. When you told your nine to five to kiss your ass, and told your family to deal with it. The moment after you decide to no longer be a slave. When you decide to not believe that the only thing you have to look forward to in life is making babies, and being a wife. When you find a way to delicately balance babies, be a wife and still find time for a long bath at least one night per week. When you have vowed to raise daughters as warriors. And grown out your perm, or read more books then what would ever be required in school. When you decide to write your OWN relevant story and not wait for validation from a culture outside of your own. From no one! When you survive on paint, and words, education, and activism, and love and poetry and theater, sewing needles, fabric, real films, and dance and music not always played on the radio. When you decide, despite the guns at your head. To outlive your circumstance… And breathe down the throats of those who say you don't matter. When you have done all this. And a MAN or a WOMAN that you LOVE tells you that They feel INADEQUATE. INSECURE. NOT QUITE ENOUGH. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AROUND YOU. OR YOU MAKE THEM FEEL LESS THAN WHAT THEY ARE. THEY FEEL EMASCULATED. BECAUSE YOU ARE SO TOGETHER, SO STRONG, SO PERFECT TO BRING AROUND THEIR MOMMAS. I AM TELLING YOU TO NEVER SAY "NO YOU'RE NOT BABY." "YOU HAVE LOTS OF POTENTIAL" OR MAKE EXCUSES BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID OF BEING ALONE, OR "WHO'S GONNA WANT TO MARRY ME WITH THREE KIDS" OR DECIDE YOU BETTER TONE DOWN YOUR MOUTH SO HE WON'T BE SCARED OF YOU, WHEN PEOPLE PAY YOU TO TALK! IF YOU HAVE ALREADY BECOME A COLDER SACK CLONE TO FIT IN WITH THE REST OF THE WOMEN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. WHEN YOU HAVE HAD TO PAY TO GET YOUR LAST NAME BACK AT LEAST ONCE ALREADY WHEN YOU WEREN'T THE ONE CHEATING! NEVER SAY, TO THIS MAGICAL, DREAMY PERSON THAT YOU LOVE: "YOU ARE PERFECT FOR ME, I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE OR THE CAR YOU DRIVE." EVEN IF U DON'T CARE, DON'T TELL THEM THAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO SAY? WHAT I DARE YOU TO SAY FIERCE BAD ASS BITCH. YOU SAY. YOU KNOW WHAT. YOU ARE INADEQUATE. AND I DON'T DATE POTENTIAL ANYMORE THAT IS SO 85! AND I AM WAAAAY TOO FABULOUS FOR YOU. YOU'RE RIGHT!!! WHAT IN THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!? YOU SAY THAT. AND I PROMISE YOU, LIKE I'M PROMISING MYSELF YOU WILL DO SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY THAT DAY. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. AND EVEN IF YOU EVENTUALLY GIVE IN AND DECIDE, LIKE MOST WOMEN TO SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT THEY ARE OR WHAT THEY DESERVE. AT LEAST YOU WILL HAVE THAT ONE DAY WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU WERE BORN WITH EVERYONE YOU NEED TO SURVIVE ON THIS PLANET. AND AS MUCH AS EVERYONE KNOWS HOW MUCH I AM IN LOVE WITH LOVE. THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE, THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH YOUR CREATOR AND YOURSELF. WHEN YOU TRULY DECIDE TO NOT ENTERTAIN MEDIOCRE, INFERIOR BEINGS, WHO WILL ONLY SUCK EVERYTHING CREATIVE OUT OF YOUR BODY. YOU WILL GET RID OF THOSE FIBROIDS FROM STRESS. AND INSTEAD OF CRYING BECAUSE YOU ARE SO POWERFUL AND MAGNIFICENT AND YOU HAVEN'T FOUND A KING WHO CAN HANDLE YOUR LIGHT JUST YET.. YOU WILL WRITE YOUR FIRST SCREENPLAY CHOREOGRAPH A WORK OF ART COMPLETE YOUR STRONGEST PIECE OF PROSE BECOME THE CEO OF YOUR OWN COMPANY GET THAT TENURE U DESERVE TEACH YOUR GIRLS HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES INSPIRE SOMEONE TO BUY A BOOK COMPOSE A SYMPHONY WRITE A BEST SELLING NOVEL APPLY FOR THAT GRANT RAISE YOUR SONS ALONE BUILD AN INSTITUTION A SAFEHOUSE!! FOR STRONG, INCREDIBLE WOMEN, WHO DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO NOT BE WELL READ, ARTICULATE, BRILLIANT, TALENTED, SOULFUL, AND FINE AS HELL. WHEN WE KNOW WE ARE. AND SO DO THEY. YOU WILL BE TOO BUSY TAPING THIS SHIT TO YOUR FRIDGE OR EMAILING IT TO HIS INBOX AND SMILING AND EXPLODING WITH JOY!! ALL MY LOVE, JESSICA CARE MOORE Jessica Care Moore is a poet, activist, actor, book publisher, Apollo legend, and all out dope woman from detroit. under her company Moore Black Press, she has released several books of her own poetry, as well as works from acclaimed poets Saul Williams and Shariff Simmons. she has performed and collaborated with the likes of Nas, Talib Kweli, Anthony David, Mos Def, Sonia Sanchez, etc... and still comes through to all the little spots in detroit and blesses us with the genius. look her up and bask in the awesomeness of the Black Woman!

REGISTER AND VOTE!

THIS IS WHAT THOSE BEFORE US HAD TO ENDURE TO ENSURE THE RIGHT FOR US TO VOTE! DO NOT TAKE THIS FOR GRANTED! PLEASE REGISTER AND PLEASE VOTE!

TRAVIS BARKER AND DJ AM CRITICALLY INJURED IN PLANE CRASH

(CNN) -- Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and singer-song artist Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein were in critical condition with extensive burns Saturday after a jet crash the night before that killed four people, authorities said.

DJ AM, left, and Travis Barker pose backstage at the MTV Video Music Awards on September 7.

Two of the four who died late Friday were passengers and two were crew members, the National Transportation Safety Board said in a statement. The NTSB has sent a Go Team to Columbia, South Carolina, to investigate the crash.

The Learjet 60 crashed on takeoff at the Columbia Metropolitan Airport at 11:53 p.m. Friday. Beth Frits, spokeswoman at the Joseph Still Burn Center, in Augusta, Georgia, said Barker and Goldstein arrived at the hospital early Saturday. She said both men had "extensive burns." The burn center is the largest in the country, and the main one in the Southeast, she said. Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman Kathleen Bergen said the twin-engine, private jet was cleared for takeoff on a flight to Van Nuys, California, and began its takeoff roll a few minutes before midnight. Air traffic controllers "saw sparks coming from the runway -- whether that was from the aircraft or its engines, we don't know," Bergen said Saturday. The jet left the ground but crashed near the end of the runway on a road adjacent to the airport, she said. There were no other aircraft on the runway and no vehicles on the road, Bergen said.

R.KELLY- REALLY?

TODAY'S BLOG COMES WITH FEW WORDS. R. KELLY (IN MY OPINION) IS A DOUCHE BAG! WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN OPINION ABOUT HIM AND THE CHILD PORNOGRAPHY CASE. LISTEN TO HIS LATEST INTERVIEW AND HIS RESPONSE TO BEING ASKED ABOUT UNDERAGE GIRLS. AS A TEENAGER WHO WAS MOLESTED BY A FAMILY MEMBER, I JUST WISH HE WOULD DISAPPEAR. (but that's my own baggage) HE HAS HIS OWN CROSS TO BEAR.....

READ ON....

Posted September 18, 2008

Singer R. Kelly has spoken out in his first interview since being acquitted of child pornography charges.

In a sit down talk with BET personality Toure' on Tuesday, the Chicago native dismissed allegations that he ever preyed on young girls, stating, "I don't like anyone illegal."

Kelly also said he was relieved when the trial was over, and that his upcoming album would feature less of the sexually charged material that has come to define his multi-platinum career, according to the Associated Press. "I'm really trying to make this album a little bit different." he said. "Take a little bit of the edge off, you know? And you know, clean up a few lyrics if I can, you know?

The 40-year-old performer was acquitted in Chicago in June of multiple child pornography charges. The verdict ended a six-year saga that began when a videotape surfaced of a man looking like Kelly having sex with a girl believed to be as young as 13. Kelly denied he was the man in the videotape, and the girl in the video never testified.

Though the half-hour interview did not specifically address the child pornography charges, Kelly was asked about the perception that he is attracted to young girls. Kelly was rumored to have been married to the late singer Aaliyah when she was 15, but the marriage was quickly annulled.

When asked if he likes teenage girls, Kelly replied, "When you say teenage, how -how old are we talkin' ...19?" "I have some 19-year-old friends," he added. "But I don't like anybody illegal, if that's what we're talking about ...underage."

Kelly said he was worried that he might be convicted. "But at the same time I was very prayerful," he said. "Verdict day ...I couldn't describe it and I wouldn't wish it on ...if I had a worst enemy, which I don't."

When the innocent verdicts were announced, Kelly said he felt relieved that he would be able to see his three children -two daughters and a son- once again. "I couldn't wait to get home to hug them and hold them," he said.

Despite the charges Kelly faced, he still managed to maintain one of the most successful careers of any artist, notching several platinum albums and hits during that period. His album, 12 Play 4th Quarter is scheduled for the fall.

9/11/01- WHERE WERE YOU?

THIS GOES OUT TO THOSE WHO LOST THIER LIVES SEVEN YEARS AGO ON THAT FATEFUL DAY. R.I.P. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE TOWERS FELL? I was getting dressed for work when my roommate called me into her room. Her voice was shaken....She kept saying "Oh my God! I can't believe this has happened!" I asked what was going on as I positioned myself in front of the television. She told me about a plane crashing into one of the Towers in NYC.....I watched in disbelief as the image reappeared on the screen. I'll never get that image out of my head- the plane crashing into the side of the tower. Although I was paralyzed with disbelief and fear, I had to leave so that I could get to work on time. Driving into work that day, my boyfriend and I listened intently to the local radio station recount the details of that fateful morning. As I arrived to the warehouse that I worked at, I came into the office to find the entire staff posted around the television in the break room fixated on the horror in front of their eyes. We did not work that day- all we could do is watch in shock and horror.....cry...and pray. I can't believe that seven years has passed but this is a day that will never be forgotten...... R.I.P. to those whose lives were lost that day- R.I.P. to all the firefighters, police officers, EMT's and volunteers who gave of themselves selflessly and who lost their lives searching for the remains of lives lost. R.I.P. to those bodies that were never found and for those who have still not found closure

MAMMOGRAMS AND YOU

Earlier this week, I had an appointment at a Beverly Hills Clinic to receive my annual mammogram.

This will be my 2nd mammogram since turning 40 two years ago. I was not as apprehensive this time around because I knew what to expect. As women we have been instructed by our health care providers to have mammograms after turning 40. There is some question as to whether you should receive this test annually or every other year. What is known is if you have a history of breast cancer in your family then early detection is key.

WHAT IS A MAMMOGRAM?

A mammogram is an xray of the breast used to detect any changes within the breast and also used as early detection of breast cancer.

Most recently actress Christina Applegate was diagnosed with breast cancer (the early stages) and made a decision to have a double masectomy. Her own mother is a breast cancer survivor.

On August 3, 2008, People Magazine reported that Applegate had been diagnosed with breast cancer. This was confirmed by her representative, who said in a statement: "Christina Applegate was diagnosed with an early form of breast cancer. Benefiting from early detection through a doctor ordered MRI, the cancer is not life threatening...Christina is following the recommended treatment of her doctors and will have a full recovery. No further statement will be issued at this time." On August 19, 2008. It was announced that Applegate is cancer free after a double mastectomy, even though cancer was found in only one breast. She has an inherited genetic fault, a BRCA1[14] mutation, which very often causes breast cancer in those with said fault. Her mother, Nancy Priddy, is a breast cancer survivor. Applegate said when she first was diagnosed "I was just shaking and — and then also immediately, I had to go into ... `take-care-of-business-mode'" which included a change to a more healthy diet. Applegate appeared on a television special entitled Stand Up to Cancer designed to raise funds for breast cancer research. The one hour special was broadcast on CBS, NBC, and ABC television networks on September 5.

Although I have no history of breast cancer within my own family, at the age of seventeen I discovered a lump in my left breast. Thankfully, the tumor turned out to be benign and I made the decision to have it removed in a simple outpatient procedure

I cannot stress the importance of monthly self examinations in order to detect any changes you may feel. "Better safe than sorry" is how I like to think. I am not as diligent as I should be but it still is necessary. If you don't know how to conduct a self exam- it's pretty simple. (see image above)

I will admit it is a little uncomfortable but it does not hurt. The technician is always female which provides a safe level of comfort throughout. Your breasts are placed on a tray which then mashes down on the breast to allow the best view for the xray. You are asked to hold your position which is ironic since you're basically being smashed by the jaws of life (smile) so you really can't move anyway. But in less than five minutes, it's all over and I think to myself "Wow! Is that it? That really didn't hurt!"

So ladies- do your boobies a favor- lay down and touch them on a monthly basis......check for any changes.....call your doctor if you do.......and remember EARLY DETECTION IS KEY! Your boobies will thank you for it.

Luke Lives On

TODAY'S BLOG IS DEDICATED TO LUKAS DUNPHY...... I DON'T KNOW LUKE BUT HEARD ABOUT HIS STORY AND IT TOUCHED ME IN SUCH A WAY THAT MOVED ME TO DEDICATE TODAY'S BLOG TO HIS MEMORY. ON FRIDAY, JULY 18TH 2008 AROUND 2:30 PM LUKE WAS KILLED IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT. RIDING MOTORCYCLES WAS A HOBBY AND A LOVE OF HIS. PRIOR TO HIS PASSING LUKE HAD LEARNED OF A GIRL IN NEED OF A KIDNEY. ON JULY 15, 2008 LUKE WENT TO THE UCLA MEDICAL CENTER TO BEGIN THE PAPERWORK PROCESS OF BECOMING A DONOR. THREE DAYS LATER HE PASSED. AS TRAGIC AS HIS ENDING IS......IT IS ALSO A BLESSING TO KNOW THAT IN HIS DEATH HE WAS ABLE TO GIVE LIFE! In addition to his kidneys- other organs were also donated. HIS FAMILY HAS CREATED A WEBSITE (www.lukeliveson.com) FOR HIS LOVED ONES TO VISIT. HERE THEY CAN VIEW PICTURES OF LUKE IN ALL PHASES OF HIS LIFE AND IN HIS HAPPIEST MOMENTS. MESSAGES, WELL WISHES, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS CAN ALSO BE POSTED. I DIDN'T KNOW LUKE BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW SOMEONE PERSONALLY TO BE AFFECTED BY THIER LIFE OR THIER STORY. HIS DEATH IS JUST A REMINDER THAT WE MUST EMBRACE LIFE, HAVE FUN EVERYDAY AND MAKE YOUR MOMENTS MATTER AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. LAUGH, SMILE, PLAY, BE ADVENTUROUS, TAKE RISKS, HUG SOMEONE, TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST........... IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND/OR PRAYERS TO THE FAMILY AND LOVED ONES OF LUKE- visit www.lukeliveson.com AND LEAVE YOUR FOOTPRINTS. THANK YOU!

UNTITLED

You see.... I'm in a situation And crazy as it seems And hard as I try I can't walk away I simply can't walk away Call it guilt Call it a matter of convenience Call it and me what you will But I just can't walk away For you see There is someone with whom I share my bed But not my heart Don't get it twisted....he loves me And I love him In my own way Which is not the way he wishes to be But his wishes seem pure fantasy to me A dream that will never play into reality At least not for me How do you lay with one you don't love Knowing that what you'd love is to be anywhere Somewhere....just not here How do you pretend to love Knowing that it is a lie Not the way love should feel Deep and passionate....spiritual and strong Not forced and mechanical where it all seems so wrong ECHOES...ECHOES....echoes of emptiness Inside a hollow heart...tearing apart At the seams of shallowness When will this all end As I wonder how it all began? TOWANNA H. WILLIAMS

FUNNY

IT'S FUNNY....HOW I DON'T CARE LIKE I USED TO YOUR TIRED WAYS DONT MAKE ME SICK AND TIRED ANYMORE I'VE COME TO REALIZE YOUR TRIFLIN' NATURE IS SO OPPOSITE TO HUMAN NATURE THAT IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ANYMORE FUNNY....THAT'S WHAT IT IS- FUNNY TO ME THAT IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU ONE BIT TO NEED ME WHEN YOU WANT AND WANT ME WHEN YOU NEED TOSS MY EMOTIONS ASIDE- LIKE A CASUALTY SO FUNNY TO ME THAT NOW MY LAUGHS REPLACE THOSE TEARS THE FEARS I HAD OF LETTING GO ARE SLOWLY SUBSIDING ON YOU I NO LONGER DEPEND NOW I DEPEND ON MY ABILITY AND THIS NEWFOUND CLARITY WHICH ALLOWS ME TO LOOK INSIDE AND FIND WHAT WAS MISSING ALL ALONG AND THAT WAS ME Towanna H. Williams

DADDY DEAREST

OPEN LETTER TO MY FATHER

DADDY DEAREST.....

Today they say let's not forget about the fathers....

Well father dear

What about the children you forgot

Myself, Junior, Kim, Tony and now Erica

Born to different mothers but joined by the same seed....

What about all the forgotten birthdays, dance recitals, football games, plays, musicals, broken arms, chicken pox, graduations, hopes, dreams...what about it?

What about when I had to search for you at the age of sixteen because all of the years previous you didn't bother to look for me? Only to find you and realize you were everything I had hoped for or so I thought. You became my hero....my prince...my knight in shining armor. For two years you lived up to my fantasy as long as I played the "game" by your rules. You made up for all lost time. But as soon as I decided to venture out on my own.....as soon as you felt I was "leaving and abandoning you"- how ironic.....you went back to who you really were all along.....you went back to hiding behind your wall of defense- that way no one will ever be able to touch you.

You think you've got it all figured out don't you? If you stay behind that wall....no one can touch you....but now you've locked us all out....what a shame........you're missing out on life....our lives....your granddaughter's life...Jasmine's a beautiful girl....one you'd be proud of....it's heart breaking to know that you won't allow yourself to be a part of her life before she has to leave for Iraq.....it could be the last time you see her.....but you make the choice...

Stay behind the wall.....I've done all the reaching I can...a lifetime's worth....I refuse to allow you to continue to break my heart....so now I've made a choice...and that choice is me....I'm building a wall....and I wonder if you should come out of hiding one day....and find my wall....if you knock will it be loud enough for me to hear....

Though absent in the physical...you are ever present in my mental...daddy dearest...I will forever love you.

FAVORITE SONG OF THE MOMENT?

TODAYS BLOG WAS INSPIRED BY A FRIEND ON MY SPACE WHO CREATES SOME OF THE MOST FUNNIEST, THOUGHT PROVOKING AND SEXIEST BLOGS AROUND....

I THOUGHT THIS WAS PRETTY COOL SO I WANTED TO KEEP THIS GOING.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG OF THE MOMENT?

FEEL FREE TO INCLUDE A COPY/LINK OF THE SONG OR NOT- BUT TELL WHY IT'S YOUR FAVORITE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUT IT'D BE INTERESTING TO HEAR WHY.

MY CURRENT FAVORITE IS "CHASING PAVEMENTS" BY ADELE.

IN THE SONG SHE'S REFERENCING A MAN BUT I LIKEN THE LYRICS TO WHY IT IS I MOVED TO L.A. AND WHY IT IS I CONTINUE TO STAY.......

Should I give up or should I keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste

Even if I know my place

Should I leave it there

Should i give up or should I keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

WOW! How many times in life have we posed this question to ourselves....chasing a man, a woman, a dream, an opportunity.....hmmmmm