My experience working today just serves as another confirmation to me that all I really want to do in this life is write.
Write my story, write other people's stories, jot down my observations, write poems and letters and love songs, write a menu- hell I don't care! Anything! I just wanna write.
In the very near future, I visualize awakening to the sound of ocean waves crashing against the coastal line. As I lay atop my king size Sealy Posturepedic mattress, I stretch with all my might in an attempt to erase the traces of grogginess that lie within. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed I allow my toes to feel the cold of the the hardwood floor.
Stepping out onto the deck of my beach house, I watch as the sun peaks over the horizon. In this very moment, I stand....still...taking it all in...the beauty that God has created- so simple and serene. Sighing deeply I turn and head back into the house heading towards my state of the art kitchen to make myself some mint tea.
Grabbing my laptop I head back out onto the deck and plop myself down into my favorite lounge chair. For the next few hours I create what I believe to be my next best seller. Taking a break, I decide to stroll along in the sand with my canine companion beside me....or my male companion...or both. (smile)
Yes, this is the life that I envision to be- will be.
For this is my purpose....to write.
It is the purpose God has intended for my life.
It has to be.
Cause it damn sure can't be standing on my feet for 7 1/2 hrs, holding open doors for people, greeting them warmly without so much of an icy salutation reciprocated.
It can't be.....
So why did I start this little rant you ask? (or not-LOL)
Recently I took on a second job so that I could save money for my sizeable down payment on my brand new car.
Oh yes- this is also what I envision for myself and God intends for me as well. (smile)
The gig was easy money I must say....
I haven't stood on my feet for long periods of time since my Strawbrige & Clothier days (for all you East Coast peeps)- and now I know why.
And I was bored as hell- but the time standing around at that door allowed me the time to visualize my life in the next few years.....where I am meant to be....which is not here in downtown LA at the LA Mart.
But that's another blog....to be continued.....
"THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT MAKES A DREAM IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE: THE FEAR OF FAILURE"- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I just wanna....
My experience working today just serves as another confirmation to me that all I really want to do in this life is write.
Write my story, write other people's stories, jot down my observations, write poems and letters and love songs, write a menu- hell I don't care! Anything! I just wanna write.
In the very near future, I visualize awakening to the sound of ocean waves crashing against the coastal line. As I lay atop my king size Sealy Posturepedic mattress, I stretch with all my might in an attempt to erase the traces of grogginess that lie within. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed I allow my toes to feel the cold of the the hardwood floor.
Stepping out onto the deck of my beach house, I watch as the sun peaks over the horizon. In this very moment, I stand....still...taking it all in...the beauty that God has created- so simple and serene. Sighing deeply I turn and head back into the house heading towards my state of the art kitchen to make myself some mint tea.
Grabbing my laptop I head back out onto the deck and plop myself down into my favorite lounge chair. For the next few hours I create what I believe to be my next best seller. Taking a break, I decide to stroll along in the sand with my canine companion beside me....or my male companion...or both. (smile)
Yes, this is the life that I envision to be- will be.
For this is my purpose....to write.
It is the purpose God has intended for my life.
It has to be.
Cause it damn sure can't be standing on my feet for 7 1/2 hrs, holding open doors for people, greeting them warmly without so much of an icy salutation reciprocated.
It can't be.....
So why did I start this little rant you ask? (or not-LOL)
Recently I took on a second job so that I could save money for my sizeable down payment on my brand new car.
Oh yes- this is also what I envision for myself and God intends for me as well. (smile)
The gig was easy money I must say....
I haven't stood on my feet for long periods of time since my Strawbrige & Clothier days (for all you East Coast peeps)- and now I know why.
And I was bored as hell- but the time standing around at that door allowed me the time to visualize my life in the next few years.....where I am meant to be....which is not here in downtown LA at the LA Mart.
But that's another blog....to be continued.....
"THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT MAKES A DREAM IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE: THE FEAR OF FAILURE"- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
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2 comments:
You definitely have the talent to make a living as a writer - now you have to push yourself.
Ms. Tee,
I can appreciate what you are saying. in fact it is A LOT deeper than that. I know that God puts us all here for a reason. He wants us to do what he gave us talent for.
I know what it feels like to have those feelings. I tried to ignore them for years. I mean I did try to use my fathers talents. I came out of college where I was going to be a broadcaster. And for 8 years on and off it came true. I worked in radio and television, writing news and sports as well as hosting sports shows. And in my free time I would write, write and write some more. So at 23 I moved from Washing to LA. Man I didn't know what I was doing but I knew i was going to do it. I went to an agency paid the $40 to find me work as an extra. They told me to stick around because they immediately had work for me. They told me two things 1) it would last for 2 days and 2) Don't talk to the stars!!(Jean Claude Van Damme and Robert Guillaume from Benson starred in the movie Death Warrant). Well I ended up working on there for 2 months, actually paying some bills while working for a health club on the weekends. And I ended up talking to everyone from the grip to the Director who wanted me to work with him on other projects. I ended meeting a lot of people. And landed a job on the Love Connection. But I had to leave. So I left LA. Raised my two older boys and made a lot of money in real estate. But that desire haunted me every single day until I finally gave in to its cravings. For the past 6 months or so I breath, drink and eat writing. Of course I work on occassion but my goal is not to get back to where i was. It is to be extremely successful in what God put me on this earth to do..write.
I have a 4 year old son with autism. I am doing this for him more so than I am for me. I feel the POWER inside me to do this again the right way. I may struggle, but God truly has my back. The 11 years I spent as a mortgage banker was a blessing. I am truly grateful. But the market going down was a blessing for me. I looked at Marc again for the first time in years! I traded in my Mercedes for a Equinox(a what?)and sold my 5,000 square foot house to move to a home half the size, and now to a hotel room to start my quest. But I am happier(and a little scared),but I draw energy from that 23 year oldwith dreams of grandeur, who gave it up to raise his two sons. I asked God for this and He's holding me to that promise. I have some movies, books and poems in my head. I have some songs too. I need for them to breath. I need for them to have a place in American society.
Your dreams are God's way of showing you how much He cares about you. it says in the bible where there is no vision, people perish. Don't lose faith. Your writing is truly inspirational.
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